Disappointment...

I don't think I've ever really seen J disappointed. He usually rolls with the punches and he may whine a little but most of the time it's to work the system to get what he wants not because he really feels bad himself. He's learned manipulation at a very young age.

So yesterday, I entered him in a children's art contest. He's very proud of his artwork. Loves to do art. And why wouldn't he when he is surrounded by parents that also love to create!

I really didn't expect him to win. I just thought it would be fun to enter and I knew he would get a participation ribbon out of it. His artwork was cute, but he was entered in a category with K-2nd graders. And he is a young kindergartener and doesn't have a refined style. (read in here... it looks like a kindergartener did it)

So we are sitting there at the awards ceremony and they are calling out names, and I see tears running down his face. Not the fake tears accompanied by the loud noises he makes when he's faking for our benefit, but a quiet, inward, soft crying. I put my arm around him and he says, "they didn't like my art".

And I said, "you got a ribbon, they did like it, see?" And he said, "everyone gets a ribbon. I wanted to win so I could buy you a present." The prizes were $25 - $100 in cash.

And so I asked, "What would you buy me?" Trying to stray from the subject.

And he responded, "A horse."

I had to chuckle. But at the same time, I felt really bad for him. This poor kid went into this expecting to win so he could take his small winnings and buy a horse. And I could tell, he was feeling the same disappointment that I feel everytime I submit a scrapbook page to a contest and don't win. Every time I do a project for a client and they rip it apart and make it totally not my style. And every time I've competed with my dogs and fallen flat on my face. I've experienced enough disappointment for both of us. And, I wasn't ready for J to feel it too.

And by the way, as much as I'd like to have a horse, I think J wants one much worse than I do.